Watch out, it's coming now!

Everyday Bravery Series - 4

Why are we so uncomfortable with difference?

In one respect we want homogeneity and yet, we also long to be recognised as unique and special. We want to remain in our comfort zones and yet we simultaneously yearn for a novel experience, something that wakes us up from routine and catapults us into a pool of delight. We know diversity is unbelievably positive, yet we retreat from the smallest, most inconsequential differences.

This is a very short story about a woman, who acted differently and contributed, in her own particular way.

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I often see Mary hovering close to several bus stops, on a busy shopping street. She isn’t waiting to board a bus herself, but likes to provide her impromptu version of a public service.

She announces each approaching bus, as it comes into distant view. She shouts the bus route number, the destination and how busy any particular service looks, as it nears. She turns in different directions as she commentates, so we can all hear her clearly.

Number 5 is on its way!

Here’s the 49 and it’s busy already! Hope you’re not after a double seat!

A 22! That’s a rare bus these days! A rare bird! Better be quick if you want that or you’ll be waiting at least another half an hour!

28 now! That’s a dirty looking bus! Won’t see much out of those windows!

Number 1. Slow as a snail that one!

I sat in the bus shelter and watched Mary one day, fascinated by her accuracy and stamina. She didn’t miss a single bus. She stood hands in pockets, faithful to her broadcast duties. I wondered how often she did this? Did she do it everyday? At the same time, like going to a job, or did she just do it when she felt like it? I knew it wasn’t weather dependent, as I’d seen her in the rain and sunshine.

Mary didn’t seem to want to talk to anyone. She was just doing her thing and was absorbed by the task. She wasn’t looking for any praise or recognition. However, everyone around her looked uncomfortable.

Some people turned in the opposite direction, suddenly fascinated by the Poundland window display. Some tutted and looked disapprovingly, but were careful not to catch Mary’s eye. Some raised their eyebrows and whispered to other waiting passengers. And not one person said thank you or smiled at her. I don’t believe she was concerned with thank you’s, but still, it would have been nice to see.

Discomfort was at the core of all the reactions. Impatience with someone who was behaving differently, even through they were making an active contribution, in their own way. And yet, it made everyone so awkward, it was palpable.

It made me wonder if someone calling out bus numbers makes us so uneasy, what happens when difference is amplified? What happens when difference strays into more significant areas of our lives? How could we approach those with less concern and more compassion, when this bus stop situation was seemingly so difficult?

What role could bravery play when confronted with difference?

Could being brave be as simple as accepting Mary’s contribution kindly?

Could bravery be suspending our instant judgement and saying thank you?

Could bravery actually be enjoying someone else’s unique expression and feeling grateful for the opportunity to experience it?

Could bravery be that tiny a step forward sometimes? Could it be the deep breath and pause to chose openness over judgement?

I think probably yes. It can be that tiny but also incredibly significant. Because little steps grow into bigger steps and maybe we can find our bravery footing that way.